On Being a Mom: Mother's Day from Infertile Mom's Perspective

I hope you will forgive me for the long post I'm about to delve into. It is about being a mom and infertility. Being a mother is absolutely one of the best things I have ever experienced. Yes, it is hard. Yes, there are days when I just want to pull my hair out. But, I count my lucky stars every day that I am blessed to be the mother of my sweet little boy. He makes me laugh. He is so active and silly and funny and even a little bit stubborn. I adore him. He is such a blessing. It is only through the gift and sacrifice of his sweet birthmother that I am able to have this opportunity to be a mom. Last year, I could have never imagined that I would get to be a mom today. God is good and I am so blessed.

That being said, I want to address a topic near and dear to my heart. I've been thinking a lot over the past few weeks about my infertility. I am infertile and contrary to popular belief, adoption does not cure infertility. It just cures childlessness. I have a favorite infertility quote that I like to share with people. I used to have times when I thought about my infertility every day. Now, I feel more like this . . .

“My infertility resides in my heart as an old friend. I do not hear from it for weeks at a time, and then, a moment, a thought, a baby announcement or some such thing, and I will feel the tug-maybe even be sad or shed a few tears. And I think, “There’s my old friend.” It will always be part of me…”

Barbara Eck Menning

I still do not have the option of having a baby whenever I want. We've been trying to plan on when to have our next child and I just laugh because even if we put in our adoption papers again as soon as we can (September), it could be months or even years before we have another baby. That control that I love so much is out the window. I've always wanted to have my kids close together so they could have a friend, but even with my best planning, that may not happen. 

I will always have hard days I suspect. This coming mother's day will likely be bittersweet for me. Mostly sweet, because how can it not be sweet with my son's cute little face staring at me? But, I have a lot of memories of mother's day in the past. I have shed a lot of tears on this day set aside for mothers. I know mother's day is a tough day for anyone going through infertility. If you know someone going through infertility, reach out and give them a hug on Sunday. Tell them you love them. Tell them someone cares. For my fellow infertility sisters, I want to give you a virtual hug for Mother's Day. You are loved. You are not alone. In the words of Elder Holland, "'Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead.' Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ,they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

There is a great video I just watched on infertility. It is kind of long, (45 min) but if you have any exposure to someone going through infertility, I encourage you to watch it. It will help you to understand what they are going through and maybe even say the right things. :) 

I have a ton of pictures of Sam that I'll post later today or tomorrow. Because, as this weekend commences, I want to honor my son's birthmother (Saturday is Birth Mother's day), his birth grandmother, and of course, my lovely mother, grandmother and sweet mother-in-law. It will be a picture fest! 

I love you all. Happy Mother's Day.

Patricia